Thursday, May 17, 2012

Comedy of Manifests

As I stepped out of Waitrose, I looked up to the skies and said, "You have a funny sense of humour. I imagined handsome, young and dashing and you sent a 45 years old..."

For all my readers who haven't seen me, you should know that I have really long hair, a mane that has never been cut and I often get compliments for how beautiful it is.
Well, my story doesn't start with my hair nor does it end with it but somewhere in between, it becomes the lead character.

So anyway, the story starts with wondering and how we all sometimes get random thoughts in our head that catch our fancy and how sometimes one of the most random out of them actually manifests in real life. When? How? Where? In what form?  Well, I guess that's what they call a surprise...

I got out of the exam hall and started walking towards St. James's Park tube station to take the train back home. On my way I passed the Taj Hotel and it's grandeur made me wonder what it would be like to dress up smart and go out for dinner to one of these hotels. (But hang on a minute, I have already been to these hotels a gazillion times back in India.) Well, that's when my wonder conjured up the image of a smart and young casanova of a friend asking me to dinner to one of these hotels.... because that I haven't done, here or in India.. and this was a fleeting wonder.

All was forgotten when I reached the station and hopped on to the circle line. With my earphones plugged in, I listened to my music and watched a child and mother sitting opposite me play and laugh. I watched as the train stopped and people got off and on the train at the 8 odd stops before it finally reached Edgware Road station where I needed to board another train to get home to Baker street. I got off the train and suddenly remembered that I had nothing sitting in my fridge back home and that grocery shopping was indispensable. I started walking to a Waitrose not very far from the tube station.

I reached the store and it was once I was in there that things sort of kicked in... I stood at the top of the drinks aisle looking down, searching the shelves for Ginger Ale. And there he was, a gentleman, well, not so gentle and in a bit you'll probably agree with me. Let's just stick to a man, shall we? So there he was, a man, gazing at some drinks on one of the shelves. He was of medium height, well-dressed and clearly close to my dad's age. (I think as the days pass by I keep adding years to his age. I started with 45 but now when I think back I'd say he was 50). He must have sensed my presence for he turned around, looked at me and gestured with his sunglasses as if he wanted to ask something and then just stood there and stared at me for about 10 seconds. I thought he'd confused me for staff, so I slightly shook my head and moved on to the next aisle. I didn't find my ale in this one either. As I was getting out of this section, this man (I am going to call him Oldie for the rest of the story) suddenly came up to me and said," Hi! I just wanted to say that you have very beautiful hair." I looked at my hair, which was scooped to one side of my face and stumbling down the front of my body, looked back at him and said,"So that's why you were staring at me. Well, thank you." To which Oldie replied," Yes you must be thinking, why is this man staring at me, but it was just your hair that caught my attention. Beautiful." "Why thank you sir. Have a good day." and with a smile and a nod I moved on.

Once I had picked up the rest of my stuff, I made my way to the tills and joined the rather short queue of two people standing there. Not a minute had gone by waiting, when guess who joined the queue behind me? Yeah, Oldie, and he said, "Well we meet again." I smiled and replied,"Yes we do." I looked at his hands and noticed he had no basket or groceries. He obviously realised that I noticed because he fumbled and said," I am here to get a Lebara card for my phone." "Hmmm, Okay."

"So how long have you been growing your hair?" asked Oldie.

"All my life." I replied.

And then as a complete stranger he had some nerve to ask me if he could touch my hair.

I whipped around and said. "No you can't. That's weird."

And he laughed an okay and pointed me to a till that had just vacated. While I paid for my grocery, I think he asked for his Lebara and walked to the exit door. The cashier at my till handed me my bill. She then fished out a green plastic coin and said that I could drop it in any one of the three charity boxes near the exit doors and the company would then donate to the charity.

With the coin in my hand, pretending to be deeply interested in it's shape and colour I walked to where the charity boxes were. But as I did so, I noticed Oldie standing with his back to me looking out of the glass doors. I am sure he must have seen my reflection in the glass because the moment I stopped to drop my coin in a box, he came to me and said,"Hey, are you engaged?" I spun around and replied with a "What?"

"Because I like you and uh, are you seeing someone already?", he said.

"Well even if I wasn't I wouldn't tell you." I mocked.

"Well I'd like to take you out for dinner someday." (Actually this is where I thought he'd say, "You know I have a son and he's smart and blah di blah di blah. No such luck you see). So I replied,"Well I really appreciate that you like me and all that but no thank you." And with a final nod, I walked towards the doors and as I stepped out of the store,  I looked up to the skies, smiled and said,"You have a funny sense of humour. I imagined handsome, young and dashing and you sent a 45 years old debauchee..."

All the way back home, I couldn't stop smiling at the comedy of how my wonder had manifested. Nature sure had pulled a fast one on me.

So be careful with what you wonder about. For sometimes nature may humour you and at other times it may create humour for you.

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